Dirty Pick Up Lines | FUNNY PICK UP LINES

Rank	Dirty Pick Up Line	Votes	Rating
1	Hi, we're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.	1
2	Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?	2
3	Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.	2
4	Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?	1
5	If I told you I had a 2-inch dick would you fuck me? (No) Good, because mine is 8 inches.	1
6	Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.	1
7	If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.	1
8	Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?	1
9	What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.	1
10	Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.	1
11	If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?	1
12	If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants…	1
13	That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.	1
14	If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.	1
15	The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s say we head back to your place and spread the word.	1
16	Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!	1
17	Do you know what I like in a girl? My dick.	1
18	The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.	1
19	Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!	1
20	Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? (No) Well then, allow me to introduce myself…	1
21	Hey! Wanna play war? I’ll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!	1
22	Hi, wanna fuck? (No) Mind lying down while I do?	2
23	Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?	1
24	Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out) Would you like to?	1
25	Let’s play carpenter. First we get hammered then I’ll nail you!	1
26	“I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it’s saying something right now. It says that you’re not wearing any underwear, is that true?” (No) “Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!	1
27	What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.	1
28	Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.	1
29	Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.	1
30	Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?	1
31	Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?	1
32	Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.	1
33	I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.	1
34	There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?	1
35	Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?	1
36	Do you like my belt buckle? (Any response is okay) It would look better against your forehead!	1
37	Hi, I’m the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?	1
38	Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.	1
39	If you were a car door I would slam you all night.	1
40	I don’t know much about pies, but damn! you make my banana cream.	4
41	Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.	1
42	Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?	1
43	Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?	1
44	Do you believe in free love? (No) Then how much for a blow job?	1
45	Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come on you?	1
46	If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?	1
47	I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.	1
48	Do you come here often? Because I'm about to come here right now.	0
49	I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.	0
50	If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?	0
51	You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.	0
52	If you jingle my bells I can promise you a white Christmas.	0
53	Do you spit or swallow?	0
54	Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.	0
55	I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?	0
56	You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.	0
57	Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?	0
58	How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?	0
59	Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."	0
60	Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?	0
61	Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.	0
62	My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?	0
63	My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?	0
64	Wanna play 68? You do me and I owe you one!	0
65	Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?	0
66	Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!	0
67	I wanna floss with your pubic hair.	0
68	Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"	0
69	Oh, you're a bird watcher. ([Pull out your dong) Well, would you take this for a swallow?	0
70	Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?	0
71	I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.	0
72	Do you like apples? (Yes/No) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?	0