RankFunny Pick Up LineVotesRating
1Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?2
2You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. 1
3You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.1
4Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?2
5My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! It must be 30 minutes fast.2
6Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?1
7If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?1
8Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?1
9If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.1
10Hey let’s play Lion tamer, you get down on all fours an I’ll stick my head in your mouth!1
11Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?1
12Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.1
13How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?1
14Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is F*cked up!1
15Are you free tonight or will it cost me?3
16Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?2
17Excuse me, is that semen in your hair? 2
18Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.1
19Do you work at Subway? because your giving me a footlong!1
20Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?1
21Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?1
22I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your place?1
23If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?1
24Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?1
25What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.1
26I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.1
27Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn’t your name (take a guess) …Jennifer????1
28Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted? 1
29If I asked you to have sex with me would it be the same answer as the answer to this question?1
30A tall man to a short woman: “You’re that perfect height for what I want.”1
31Are you wearing lipstick? – she answers yes – Mind if I taste it?2
32If I pet you, would you follow me home?1
33Wow! Are those real?1
34Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?1
35Hey, you look like my next girlfriend. 1
36Like Motel 6, i'll leave the light on for you. 1
37Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?1
38My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down? 1
39If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?1
40Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.1
41You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two.1
42Do you have a Keg in your pants (No! Why?) Cause I’d like to tap that!1
43I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.1
44If I told you I was gay would you let me touch you?1
45Do you want to see something swell?1
46Let's make like fabric softener and snuggle.1
47Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly?1
48You are ugly but you intergue me.1
49Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.0
50You look just like Joan Rivers.0
51Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question, yes is the answer. 0
52I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?0
53If you jingle my bells I can promise you a white Christmas.0
54Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don't recognize you with your clothes on.0
55I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?0
56Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.0
57Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later.0
58What pickup line actually works on you?0
59Can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.0
60Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.0
61So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.0
62Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?0
63You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.0
64Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?0
65Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?0
66I wonder what our children will look like.0
67What do you like for breakfast?0
68Are you legal?0
69Hi. You'll do.0
70How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?0
71Say, did we go to different schools together?0
72Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"0
73I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?0
74You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?0
75I wanna bag you like some groceries.0
76If you were a booger I'd pick you first.0
77I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but I'm as sweet as can be. 0
78You've been a bad girl, go to my room!0
79I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.0
80Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?0
81That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?0
82If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close… 0
83I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.0
84I bet you $10 you're gonna turn me down.0
85I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!0
86This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.0
87Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.0
88Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?0
89You know the more I drink, the hotter you get!0
90 I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!0
91Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily".0
92Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?0
93You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.0
94So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?0